Tips for a True-to-You Elopement

If you’re dreaming of a wedding day that is intimate, fun, and maybe a bit more quiet than the traditional big event that a lot of weddings are, you might already be looking at eloping. This is a very personal choice, and people make the decision to elope for a number of reasons.

Some people really want to go on an adventure for their wedding and can’t feasibly ask a large number of people to join them for a multi-hour hike. Some people want to ensure they’re focused on their partner and maybe a small group of close friends/family for the day and aren’t interested in things like catered meals or formal toasts. Some people are simply very shy or private and want a wedding day where they feel totally comfortable and free to be themselves fully. Whatever the reason, eloping is a beautiful option for officially recognizing and starting a life with your partner.

Just like any wedding, there’s no right or wrong way to elope. However, I’ve found that people often have lots of questions once they’ve decided to elope – maybe even more so than with a traditional wedding, because the behind-the-scenes of elopements are a little less visible than traditional wedding structures and events. I’ve done my fair share of work in this area, I friggin’ love it, and I’ve learned lots of things along the way.

As always, these are simply suggestions based on the experiences of other couples with whom I’ve worked. I hope they’re helpful, and I always invite questions if you have them!

Planning an Elopement

Just because you’re eloping doesn’t mean you don’t have to plan. You probably won’t need a strict timeline, but you’ll definitely need to have an idea of when you want to start the day (especially if you’re hiking or doing any kind of trekking) and when you want key parts of the day to happen (e.g. the ceremony). If you’re venturing into public outdoor spaces, you’ll need to ensure you have proper permits. Plus, having appropriate equipment and other necessities is an absolute must.

Lean on your photographer for this quite a bit. If your photographer has experience with elopements, they’ll have lots of guidance for you! Since you’ll have so few vendors (maybe just a photographer) and it’s likely this is the first time you’re doing this kind of thing, rely on the vendor(s) you do have to help. If they’re a pro, they’ve done this more than once (lots more) and will be able to help make the day go smoothly.

Part of this is planning for the light, too. Definitely ask your photographer about this, but generally, you’re going to want to try and have your ceremony occurring at a time that is more ideal for light. For instance, if you want that dreamy sunrise or sunset light, you’re going to have to plan to leave your starting location at an appropriate time to ensure you’re at your ceremony site at the right time of day. 

And keep in mind that things happen, especially if you’re doing any sort of adventure elopement. So, you’ll want to consider leaving wiggle room time-wise in case you get caught up at all on the way to your ceremony site.

Don’t Neglect Details on Your Elopement Day

A lot of people opt to go the elopement route because they want something smaller and more intimate. That often includes a desire to keep logistics simple and the need for extra details like decorations, meals, etc to a minimum. That said, it can be really wonderful to still include a few details that are important and meaningful to you. Just make sure they’re easy to carry, especially if you’re doing any sort of adventure elopement.

Think florals, special jewelry, letters, heirlooms, small wedding-themed treats – if there’s something that’s really important to you for this day, bring it! Just because you’re not doing a big event, doesn’t mean you can’t have details. If it’s something that’s delicate or fragile and you’re hiking in, you can always pack it safely and take it out when you reach your ceremony site. When shooting elopements, I’ve found it always adds just a little more genuine connection to who you and your partner are if you bring and incorporate items that have meaning to you for such an important day.

Bring Your Dog to Your Elopement

…or cat, or horse, or other furry family member. Are they part of your family? Include them!

Now, this of course is ONLY if it’s safe and legal to do so. I don’t recommend bringing most cats or other smaller animals on long hikes, overnight backpacking trips, etc. If you’re looking at a shorter elopement day at a location where you can safely and easily care for your pet, then sure! But always consider safety first, for you and your animals.

If your pet can’t be there in real life but you really want to include them, bring a photo of them or an item of theirs and we’ll incorporate it into your photos, no problem. That way, they can still be a part of your day and appear in your photos in some symbolic way years down the line.

When Picking an Elopement Location, Consider Variety in Scenery

If you’re opting to hire a photographer for your elopement and looking at an outdoor and scenic location, try to prioritize a place with lots of variety in backdrops. Somewhere that you can move around and has differing landscapes (think waterfalls AND forest or sandy beach AND trees) can be a lot of fun and make for a really interesting set of photos.

This is true for indoor elopements too. If you’re looking for a more urban or industrial setting, there are lots of options that provide a beautiful mixture of environments so you have lots of different areas to explore and utilize in photos.

An elopement day gives you a lot of time and space to really focus on just you and your partner and get wonderful images that really highlight your connection. A location that feels like you and incorporates some of the things you love (e.g. hiking, skiing, surfing, gardening, simply being out in nature, etc), as well as provides an opportunity to spread out, explore, and experience a lot of different types of atmospheres is always a lot of fun.

Ultimately, you should always go with a location that feels right for you and is what you want, regardless of what anyone else says, myself included (and within legal limitations and respecting good Leave No Trace practices, of course). Pick a place that has some meaning to you or that you feel wonderful being in. As long as it’s somewhere that makes you happy, that will show through in your photos. 

For those who are curious, I’ll be writing more posts later highlighting some of my favorite places for elopements in Oregon and Washington.

Get photos with each of your guests (if you have any)

This isn’t something people often get to do with larger weddings! With an elopement, you have the unique opportunity to ensure you get an image with each and every person who’s there. If you’ve chosen to elope and invite only a handful of people, it’s likely those people mean a lot to you. So, definitely take the opportunity to acknowledge that relationship and the significance of their presence on one of the most important days of your life. 

Get Goofy, Be Yourself, Laugh, Dance, PLAY!

This is probably my favorite piece of advice here, and it’s another thing people don’t get to do quite as much with bigger weddings where there are tight schedules to be kept and lots of events going on. Often when you’re eloping, you’re looking at less structured time and more ability to go with the flow. That means you’ll have space for the creation of really beautiful images but also breathing room to just play and have fun!

Don’t get me wrong: Tons of fun can be had at bigger weddings, too. Play, silly dancing, spontaneous shenanigans, and good ol’ belly laughs aren’t specific to elopements, of course! However, there is a certain kind of magic that seems to more easily occur when you’ve got some time to just let things unfold as they naturally would outside of planned events. So, fully enjoy that freedom during your elopement! Let all the joy, silliness, and fun flow without limitation!

Share with Friends and Family from Afar

If you really want the elopement experience but still want to include more friends/family, you can video your ceremony. Ask your photographer if they offer this service, or you can set up something as simple as your phone propped up in the right place to record it all.

If you’ll have access to internet or data services, you can even share your ceremony in real time. Invite family and friends to tune in live during your ceremony via Zoom, FaceTime, or some similar service. This way, they get to see you get married in real time, but you still get to have your intimate elopement experience for the rest of the day.

Go Forth and Plan!

In the end, just as with any wedding, your elopement is your and your partner’s day to make as you truly want. Lean on your friends, family, and vendors only as much as you want and need. Know that you have their support but that it’s still your day. As long as you’re being true to yourself and your relationship, it will be a remarkable and wonderful day.

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Curious what an elopement might look like from beginning to end? Check out What is a Full Day Elopement Experience? to get an idea of what an elopement day can look and feel like (including example timelines!).